galgorithm:

Before getting wine drunk you MUST consider if you have a man you can feel up. If not, you must seriously consider if you are ready to be wine drunk without having a man to feel up and do not overestimate your mental fortitude

(via transmlmz)

funkyness:

funkyness:

🫸what if i held my posts like this🫷

🫵STOP PRESSURIZING MY POSTS🫵

(via tiedyeb0ngwat3r)

duckdotcom:

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

(via bchnnbrns)

vstheworld:

memesusofsuburbia:

sephbeams:

sharp-tender-shock:

elijahelegia:

Sorry for who-posting in the year 2019 but the Doctor is actually so named because he wrote and successfully defended a dissertation at an accredited university whereas the Master completed a 2-year graduate program in his chosen field, which points to the existence of a third less-advanced and less-specialized counterpart, the Bachelor

The Bachelor is never seen in the show because he’s still living with his parents on Gallifrey, listlessly applying for jobs and stress-eating

I thought the bachelor was being fought over by 12 women in a big house

galaxy brain:  The Bachelor Tv show has featured the same man for every season but he regenerates like the doctor

obsessed with the idea that the bachelor is ritually killed at the end of every season

(via tiedyeb0ngwat3r)

dahlia-molinas:

rip to everyone upset about the ending of good omens s2 but im diffeerent. neil gaiman look at me i want it to get worse. i want crowley and aziraphale to be absolutely miserable in the beginning of season 3. i want aziraphale to crawl under his desk and cry every three minutes. i want crowley to lock himself into the bentley and listen to hozier and to see someone eating and start bawling immediately because it reminds him of aziraphale

(via kowabungadoodles)

manywinged:

manywinged:

there’s something so compelling to me about the fact that sometimes leaving a blade or bullet inside the wound it made is the only way to prevent you from bleeding to death. something about the ironic symbolism of it. when the thing designed and intended to kill you is the only thing keeping you alive.

also yes i do enjoy a bit of penetration imagery and the perverse intimacy of violence. if you must know.

(via opia-jpg)

iamat0m:

antifainternational:

(via your-local-bambi-lesbian)

amidalleia:

we had a whole pearl-clutching fest last month debating whether or not we should laugh at billionaires killing themselves in their own deathtraps meanwhile media executives feel comfortable saying shit like “we’re just waiting for the people we’re exploiting to go homeless” with zero personal consequences. we need to stuff more billionaires into shitty submarines and laugh harder

(via sanguis-sanctus)

mirmidones:

(via missbadgermagic)

immuno:

in the United Kingdom, people eat a street food known as the ‘tesco meal deal’, often made up of a sandwich, a side, and a beverage. it is renowned for being a cheap and easy option for many. however the more adventurous palette can opt for the ‘greggs sausage roll’ for a truly local flavour…

(via bourgeoix)

miss-beloved:

love when hair dye tells me to do a spot test. nah man whatever happens happens

(via desperately-human)

zonaisona:

zonaisona:

zonaisona:

as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.

every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.

until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.

imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet

WHAT

(via desperately-human)